Bullshit Hacking, or Lies Society Taught Me

Meeting some ducks

Meeting some ducks.

I bloody love going to see my shrink. Ok don’t get me wrong, the bastard still makes me cry, and remember how it feels to feel things I thought I’d put long behind me, but he’s also some kind of ninja counselling genius who picks out ridiculously profound patterns from my what-I-always-assumed-were random thoughts. Which is kinda mindblowing in a how-did-you-even-see-that kinda way, as well as in a more personal understanding-how-my-head-works kinda way. Which is kinda the main point I guess.

So basically I’m learning lots about me. Conveniently I really like learning new things, and I wanted to share a few of them here:

The phrase “A smile costs nothing” is bullshit. True, sometimes it doesn’t cost anything, but then again, sometimes it does. If you’re in the mood for smiling, or not too bothered one way or the other, then sure – give it a whirl. But if you really want to do something other than smile, then it’s a little lie. You’re hiding your feelings, sparing other people’s feelings, avoiding reality. Stuff having a brave face (or a calm face or a supportive face) – I’d rather be in touch with what’s real. I don’t owe anyone a smile – I give smiles when, and because, I want to.

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” is also bullshit. True, if you have to break bad news or broach an uncomfortable subject you might want to err towards choosing your words reasonably considerately, but I’ll take being honest and listening, instead of clamming up and pretending everything’s fine, a thousand times out of a hundred. I have no right to assume that people want me to “protect them” from uncomfortable discussions. Equally if I don’t feel I’m being listened to, then I have no duty to stay in that situation – I have a choice of how to deal with it. And that can include taking a step back or taking some time, or taking my ideas elsewhere. I choose not to be defensive or jump to conclusions, and I can choose not to be around people who do. And that’s Ok. That’s my right.

“Always put other people first” is bullshit too. Consider other people, yes; don’t be unethical or take advantage of others – but always put them before me? Always leave myself with the shitty end of the stick? Always compromise, always give in, always carry other people’s burdens even if they’ve not asked? No. Do other people always put my needs first? No. I have a right to my own boundaries, just like other people have a right to theirs. And I don’t have to give up my boundaries to be accepted as a helpful and charitable member of society. Bugger it – I don’t even have to be seen as a helpful or charitable member of society – I just need to be me.

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Filed under Comfort, Inspiration, Nice Things

Fat cat: 365-19

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I should point out that my cat Tinker is not actually fat, to my constant amazement given how obsessed he is with food!

I finally got round to doing something with the last of the Christmas turkey yesterday, and there was a bit too much to fit into the slow cooker. So I decided to treat both my cats to a plateful of lovely turkey & gravy. Needless to say, if you’ve ever met them, Molly turned her nose up at it and Tinker spent all morning chomping away. Just as well he likes exercise too!

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Filed under 365 project, Photography, Turkey

Hippy Chic: 365-18

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I took my mum round the quirky hippy shops of West Yorkshire today, to choose some semiprecious crystals for a piece of jewellery I’m making for her. This isn’t one of the crystal shops, but it is one of the delightfully frivolous and quaint shops the tourists go nuts for along Haworth’s Main Street. And yes we did end up in Hebden Bridge!

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Filed under 365 project, Buildings & Architecture, Inspiration, Nice Things, Photography

Roadtrip Daydreams: 365-17

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I booked my hire car for Iceland this week – roads like this, here I come!

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Filed under 365 project, Iceland, Travel

Back to the Workhouse: 365-16

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Despite how dilapidated they often look, I like old Victorian warehouses. It’s easy to see how proud they once were, they’re full of character, and the spaces inside can be spectacular. This particular one, in Halifax, drew my attention for the street sign attached to it – a lovely piece of living pharmacy memorabilia.

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Filed under 365 project, Buildings & Architecture, Nice Things, Photography

All That’s Gold Does Not Glitter: 365-15

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Neither does everything silver. But there’s not a sibilant silver proverb, so you’ll just have to pretend.

Wednesday saw me back in the studio, and I really quite like how battered and mucky you have to make jewellery look before it’s finished, and I particularly like showing people photos to prove it. Here’s a picture of a bangle I’m making.

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Filed under 365 project, Jewellery, Nice Things

Partytime: 365-14

Balloon Nest

Balloon Nest

This made me smile when I came home this evening – to find the wind had blown the remains of my neighbour’s party decorations into my shrubbery. I just wish it hadn’t been dark, with a bit of sunlight for that extra bit of sparkle…

Happy 65th

Happy 65th

 

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Filed under 365 project, Inspiration, Photography